"Sneak Preview" A thread of hope.

Its a few days since I've posted anything creative so I thought I'd give you
a sneak preview of the 1st part of my upcoming novel 'A thread of Hope'

A mild south east wind blew slowly throughout the charred town,
and spread the macabre smell of death and ashes through the windows
of the few houses left intact.
It was placed around the top of a scorched round hill, was about 2000 feet east,
west, north and south, it was surrounded by a wooden palisade, and
the top was surrounded by 20 feet tall reinforced granite walls..
The streets were literally soaked with blood, crushed coal lay
spread on top, and to make matters worse, random body parts lay everywhere.
This left the road looking like a river of bloody and chunky meat soup,
spiced with pepper.
The houses that were standing were literally falling apart,
and all walls were charred black.

However there where two locations that stood out from the devastated town.
One, a humongous castle surrounded by granite walls, which stood on the top of the hill, in the
center of the town.
The other a great stone tower, almost 10 feet in diameter and more than 100 feet tall.
This Tower was located 20 paces from the castle's outer wall, was made out of almost shiny, white stone, had a small paved plaza around it, a round platform with steps that it stood on,
one great iron door, and no holes, in the smooth stone walls, except at the top, where the tower suddenly changed into a giant sphere made out of massive crystal, with two balconies.
In one of the many rooms of the castle, the throne room to be exact, the young Mayor was talking to one of his generals.


© Copyright 2006 All rights Reserved, Ragnar T. Miljeteig

Comments

Anonymous said…
Looks fine and the idea is solid. However it really depends on what you are aiming for. Your story is fantasy heavy, what I mean by that is it is like really in depth fantasy, so you may lose some readers due to that.
It is also going to be very comlicated which will put off the average reader. If it is your first novel I would hold it off until after you publish something, I am no pro at this but this is my opinion. If you write a story that is more....average joe apt to buy-ibility and it gets popular, people will know your stories are good. Thus when you publish this you will not lose so many intial readers because they know they won't be disappointed when they read a really complicated story. the better a name you make for yourself, the better accepted this novel will be.

I would start by writing either a fantasy or mystery story that is more simple at first, then introduce this. Then they will be ready for the impact of this one. What I mean is, you have to take small amounts of coke before you can inject large quantities into your bloodstream, if you never used it before and take a large dose it can kill you easily.

I love the idea of a fantasy mystery, but if it comes off as just a fantasy then the mystery fans will not know about the traitorous twists, ect. that are involved and the average reader may not be able to follow Flicker the Elf prince fighting the dreaded Pixies of Kingom Shou in the land of dragonlike creatures.

Wow, that seemed long and comlplicated, hope you can decipher it.

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